Three Months of Mavery

Dear Mavery,



3 months ago we finally met in person. 3 months is just not that long. And I know that every mom says this, but it really feels you have been with us for so much longer. It is hard to remember the days before you were here, though the ache of waiting is hard to forget. And now that ache of waiting has been replaced with an ache for what you are facing.



In less than 3 weeks, you will have your 2nd open heart surgery. So many times I have envisioned your first surgery and it hurt me so much to think you went through that alone. Now, we are going to walk through one together. My heart feels as if it is breaking into a million pieces, to think of your little heart and how sick it is. To think that I have to once again, send you away from me. To know that you will wake up hurting and not understand why. I know it is going to be horrible, but I will be there, and we will get through it together. I wish I could take your place, and carry the hurt for you, I would do that if I could.



In 3 months, you have changed so much. You are a mamas girl and there is no doubt we have bonded well. I am so thankful for that as we go in for surgery. I have wondered if afterwards you will be mad at me and we will have to start over with our relationship, but I do not think so. I believe that God has allowed you and I to come together so closely for this very reason.



Your hair is growing, it seems slow to me, and to you! But it is getting there and when I look back at your first pictures I can see how much it has grown. Oh it is going to be beautiful and while you envy your sisters hair now, they will envy your long thick mane very soon. I promise.



Your language is amazing. You follow most directions and your favorite phrase is "Sage did it"! Our favorite is " I need some help!"



But though your language is exploding, there is still enough of a communication gap that you get frustrated. And we get frustrated for you. Some days, there are alot of tears. You do not have alot of patience. Your daddy has told you on more than one occasion that you can blame that trait on me! ;0) You do not like to be told no, and when we say no, it typically involves a meltdown of you showing us every owie and how hurt you are. I prefer that meltdown over the spitting or even hitting that you do at times. That is not often, but it is sometimes the easiest way for you to get your point across.



You are sleeping in our room still, but in your crib. You were sleeping well till your heart cath last monday. Since then you are back to crying out in the night. You do go to bed easier than you did at first, though if I put you to bed, which you prefer, you drag it out. And call me back 100 times. And I typically go back 100 times. For the "other blanket" or your bear that you threw on the ground, or for "kiss". You need a kiss standing up, a kiss sitting down, a kiss laying down, a kiss through the bars of the bed. You are a snuggler that is for sure.



You are starting to play with Sage more out of my sight. Sometimes. You are still happiest typically to sit on me. But if Sage has something, you must have it to. Your favorite activity is dress up. We have discovered that some of those dress up dresses were not made for big bellys! But you insist on wearing them anyways. You LOVE all things princess and lipstick is the best!



We have been amazed at how your coordination has changed for the better. You can run now, and jump and I don't hold my breath as you go up and down the stairs. I do hold my breath as you think you are a monkey just like Sage and insist on doing flips off my couch!



You still remember your Chinese and we enjoyed hearing you speak to Esther when she was here for Christmas. I wish we could speak it and hold on to both for you.



You love stickers and candy and with those 2 things we can get anything we need done!



You are amazing Mavery. I am blessed to be your mommy. I am so thankful for 3 months of having you here. I am sad for what is coming up, but I know that God chose this path for us and we will be ok. He has written your story,and allowed me to be your mommy. I know I am not perfect and sometimes you probably wonder why you got stuck with me. But I hope that no matter what you will always know I love you deeply and no matter how many scary things we go through, I would not change a thing. You are mine and I am thankful.

3 months Mavery! We are half way to half a year together!

All my heart,

Mommy