The Heart of Adoption

**I wrote this in China and never posted it. Bumping it up now so you can read it.

There are so many thoughts swirling in my head about adoption. Someone asked me what the chinese think. And that was interesting that it was asked, because that day we ran into a group that was SO confused. They were pointing at Mavery and then pointing at us and trying to ask us if that was our baby. Our guide finally came over and helped us out. He said that for alot of the Chinese People, the concept is very difficult to understand. Because of problems in the past, where children were sold for money and abuse, they don't dare even think of adoption. On the plane to Guangzhou, the man in front of me just stared at me the ENTIRE flight. Not mean, not happy, just stared and I am sure just confused. Many of the chinese have NO IDEA that there are so many orphans here. And why would we want to come here to adopt? They just can't comprehend it. And then try telling them we already have FOUR kids at home, they get even more confused. It bothered me because our guide in Hangzhou was giving us receipts and Mark said for our taxes and we explained that our government helps out with adoption. And he said oh no wonder you all want to come adopt, you get money. I said, no, we come to adopt because our daughter needed us. By the way, did I tell you how amazed our guide was that we have now 5 children and I take care of them ALL by myself he kept saying? I told him I needed a nanny if he wanted to come home with us! ;0) It is just so strange for them here that we want so many kids. And it is so strange for us to see all the families with just one child, we love our big family! Now many of the chinese do look at us and give us the thumbs up or say lucky baby, lucky baby. So it is just all over the place. This time I have become more immune to the staring. Sometimes I will just look up and notice everyone staring and I look around to see WHAT they are staring at and realize it is ME! I sometimes wonder what Mavery is thinking as they stare so hard at us! She looks at them like, "what, you think it is odd to have a white woman holding a chinese baby? Believe me, I thought it was weird at first to, but I am getting over it!" Sometimes I look at them staring and look at her staring back or listen to her speaking to them and all I can do is giggle!

So why DO we adopt? All it takes is one trip to an orphanage, and your question is answered. So many people ask us, what does Mark do? As if we have all this money so we just adopt. Believe me, we don't have that much. We have alot of debt! ;0) What we do have is a love for children AND a broken heart for those who have no families. For me it is hard to comprehend why there are not more people doing this. I walked in a room on Tuesday and saw beautiful, beautiful children. Not all perfect and healthy. Not all tiny babies. But what I saw were kids, that live in an orphanage that have no one to call mama. Sure it is a nice place when it comes to orphanages, but Mavery is one of the lucky ones. Most are not that lucky. We hear stories of places that the nannies leave all night and they are alone. We know that some do not have running water. Some have one nanny for a ton of children. And no matter what, they go to bed at night and wake up in the morning with out a true family. What happens to these children once they hit the age where they are no longer adoptable? (In China it is 14, I think that they are not able to be adopted) Imagine it, and that is what might possibly happen. What if we had said no, what would have become of our girls? That thought makes me sick.

Many people write me and tell me they have always wanted to adopt. Many write and tell me their husbands are banning them from my blog! ;0) I hope and I pray that you will read our story and that you will be moved. NOT because we are doing something great, believe me, we are not patting ourselves on the back. Our prayer has been from the beginning that God would use us however He can. To bring more children home to our house, to encourage others to adopt, or just to open the eyes of those around us to pray for the orphans in this world.

I believe scripture is very clear in that we are called to take care of the orphans. And sometimes, it does not make any sense, it might not be what we want, but what if there is a child out there, that God has planned for your family, and we say no? What if your son or daughter is sitting in an orphanage RIGHT NOW? Isn't that an amazing thought? Half way around the world, your baby might be waiting on you! Waiting on us to figure it out, listen to the call, and most important get up and do something! It seems impossible doesn't it? To come up with ALL that money. To take care of ANOTHER child. To add more stress to an already stressful life. To travel on a plane for 15 hours and stay in a country for 2 weeks that is SO far out of our comfort zone it makes you just want to run and hide? Who wants to do that? Your child wants you to, and most important, God most likely wants you to also.

I know all my friends love it when I get on this kick. That I think I am going to convince every person I know to adopt. But it is not about me. God has given me a passion for adoption no doubt. And maybe it is not for everyone. Though I really hope that everyone asks. When Mark was saying no to Mavery and we went to our pastor he said something that has just stuck with me, and I pray that it never goes away. He said" You do not have to be 100% sure that this is RIGHT, but you have to be 100% sure that this is wrong, because if you walk away, and God has said to do this, you will be judged for it". That is what did it for Mark. Adding a 5th child did not make sense to him. We homeschool, we are going broke from the 4 we have, we are CRAZY, he has some health conditions that are scary, we feel pulled for attention with what we have. FIVE is just ALOT. But we both know that God is bigger than any of those things, and YES, 5 is alot of kids, but it is what God has planned for us. We have no idea if this is it. Very possibly it might be. But if it is the last, it will not be because WE said no.

I hope that you will at least think about it. Look at the faces in the pictures above. Look at our Mavery & Sage. Don't just read our story and think "good for them". Look at our story and think, we COULD do that!

Just for the record, China is not the only place you can go, of course. That is simply where OUR children were. Right now international adoption is NOT easy, especially if you want a young baby. But no matter how much work it is, or how long you wait, your children wait for you to. And in the end, when you hold them in your arms, it all makes sense of the work you did and the waiting you waited. As I think of my 2 little girls that were WAY more work than my pregnancies and births, I know that I would have waited for them a lifetime if I had to. I would fly on a plane even longer(gulp!) if it meant holding them. Don't discount an older child either or "special needs". I know it seems scary to think of taking on a 5 year old or a child that has some health concerns. But even when we get pregnant we are not guaranteed a healthy baby for sure. And as I look at Mavery, who was on a special needs list, I do not see a child who was considered not perfect, I just see my daughter.

My daughter, my Mavery, I love the sound of that!