Her last night....

to be in her orphanage with out her family. To go to sleep with out a good night kiss from her mommy and daddy. She will never again go to bed with out bedtime prayers and I love you's. Jin Congs little life is about to change forever.

These are the thoughts in my head today. I am not dwelling on the hotel room or the relaxing shower I tried to take with lukewarm water and no water pressure. Nope, now it is all about Mavery.

How is it time seemed to drag on and on, and now here we are? How is it I went to China and was handed my Sage, and all of a sudden I am here again? How is it that I am allowed to be the mother of 5 children, all so amazing and born from the Father above?

Today as we drove through the country side of China (during the moments I was not wanting to be sick!) I could not help but look at the little farm shacks, or apartments and just wonder. Were my girls born in a place like that? Far outside of town? Did those mamas who carried them for 9 months, have any idea of what they were doing? Do they wonder now, what our daughters are like? Does one know that a little girl she held on to for 6 weeks and then left on a train to be found, is going to finally be forever home in her mama's arms tomorrow? Does she ache to hold her, the way I ache to hold her? I will never know.

As I unpacked tonight, all the things I have imagined seeing Mavery hold, my heart just smiled. It has been a long road to hold her. Frustrating, emotionally exhausting. What will it be like tomorrow? That first glimpse of her in front of me. Reaching out and being able to touch her. How much hair does she have now? What do her little toes look like. What is it like to stare in those brown eyes or to kiss those sweet lips? Tomorrow I will get to reach out and my hands will be on her and she will forever be mine.

Mine. My Mavery. Doesn't that sound good?